8 Wrong Things Parents should never say again

1. What were you thinking?

What you are really saying—> Why are you so stupid? You are always messing things up. Don’t forget mistakes do happen.

2. How many times have I told you?

What you are really saying—> Can’t you seriously get this right? Why can’t you remember every single thing I tell you? (By the way, the answer to that first question is no. Read the Old Testament. We can’t get it right. If we could, there would be no need for Jesus.)

3. Why can’t you be like your brother?

What you are really saying—> You are not good enough the way God made you. I want you to be someone else. Comparing children with others kills the confidence of the child and makes him/her feel like he can never get anything right. God made them the way he knows is best, a child has a crooked memory & your duty is to make it straight.

4. She is just acting that way because she’s tired.

What you are really saying—> I’m okay with my child acting this way. In fact, when I’m tired I often lay on the floor and throw a fit, too. And of course, it’s perfectly acceptable to make excuses for disrespectful or lazy behavior.

5. Clean up your room, ok?

What you are really saying—> (By using the tiny word “OK”) If it’s ok with you, will you obey this command I have given you? (No, I’m not advocating that it’s a bad thing to tell your child to clean their room.) Don’t make them feel they should obey in their convenience, because the right thing should be done always and at all cost.

6. Do I have to count to three?

What you are really saying—> I don’t require you to obey me all the time, just when I get mad enough to count. Oh, and feel free to come when I get to three instead of when I ask.

7. That’s just the way he/she is.

What you are really saying—> Inappropriate behavior is acceptable if it’s a regular habit. After all, there are some things that we cannot overcome. (Umm…need I point out here that God says the exact opposite…with Him ALL things are possible! Matt. 19:26)

8. We messed him/her up and it’s too late to change it.

What you are really saying—> God isn’t big enough to cover our mistakes.

Yes, I threw in an extra one for good measure. I know you probably don’t say this to your kids, but it’s ever so tempting to think thoughts like that after reading a challenging post. It’s absolutely not true.

So what should you do if you have a habit of saying these types of things to your children?

Repent and ask God to help you speak life into your family. He will!

Tell your children when you mess up and say the wrong thing, asking them for forgiveness. Never be too proud to do what is right!

Look for creative consequences for kids that you can use instead of getting angry.

Consider doing a Bible study that will help your kids WANT to obey.

Take each day one step at a time. We are a work in progress and no one gets it right all the time. God looks at the HEART! (1 Sam.16:7) If you are striving daily to make changes, God sees that effort, not your mistakes!