Depression is not something that people can just choose to have
or get rid of.
Depression can be such a slippery slope especially for people who are generally ignorant or misinformed about this mental illness. This is a phenomenon that has managed to damage the lives of so many people, and yet, a huge bulk of individuals still carry false perspectives on the issue. Depression can be found even in the most unlikely of people and we must always tread lightly around them. We must always practice full compassion and empathy for these people. We have to be sensitive of their feelings and know that whatever we say or do can greatly affect them.
Depression can be such a slippery slope especially for people who are generally ignorant or misinformed about this mental illness. This is a phenomenon that has managed to damage the lives of so many people, and yet, a huge bulk of individuals still carry false perspectives on the issue. Depression can be found even in the most unlikely of people and we must always tread lightly around them. We must always practice full compassion and empathy for these people. We have to be sensitive of their feelings and know that whatever we say or do can greatly affect them.
1. No one ever chooses to be depressed or not.
Depression is not something that people can just choose to have
or get rid of. There isn’t a switch that you can flip up or down. Depression
isn’t something that you can turn off whenever it gets uncomfortable. No one
ever chooses to become depressed. Depression comes even when you don’t expect,
and if you’re not strong enough, it can consume your entire being. So it
doesn’t make sense for you to just tell people with depression to “look on the bright
side” and expect them to follow you.
2. You can’t just tell them that “things are going to be fine.”
You don’t really know for sure. Even they aren’t certain how
things are going to turn out for them in the future. You don’t know what’s
going on in their minds and you can’t assume anything. Instead, confirm this
uncertainty with your partner and just let them know that for whatever things
you can control, you will be there.
3. As much as you want to help them, people with depression
might push you away at first.
People with depression never want to infect other people with
their negativity. They know that they have demons inside their soul and they
don’t want other people to be affected by these demons. That’s why they will
try to isolate themselves as much as possible. They don’t want to serve as
burdens to other people. They think it is their sole responsibility to deal
with their depression. However, you have to persist in letting your partner
know that you are in it together and that you aren’t going anywhere.
4. It can be frustrating when dealing with a person with
depression; and that’s okay.
You don’t have to suppress your frustrations when you’re dealing
with a person with depression. It’s perfectly understandable for you to get
frustrated with dealing with something you don’t fully understand. You don’t
have to feel guilty about being angry or upset. You just have to practice as
much patience and compassion as you can so as not to overwhelm your partner.
5. Establish proper ground rules and boundaries in your
relationship.
People who deal with depression need to be given their own
personal space to operate. You can’t afford to suffocate a person with
depression with your own expectations and needs in a relationship. You have to
be able to work as a team and come up with proper boundaries for each other.
Express your needs and expectations from the relationship and work hard at
trying to make the dynamics of your union work.
6. People with depression are very vulnerable to getting hurt.
Be sensitive of what you say when you are around a person
dealing with depression. You never know when your words or actions can trigger
destructive tendencies in depressed people. You always have to practice utmost
care with how you phrase your sentences and the language that you use to
express yourself.
7. Their depression isn’t dependent on you.
Whether or not your partner has depression doesn’t depend on
you. Their depression can come and go regardless of whether or not you are in
your partner’s life. Don’t ever delude yourself with the thought that your
partner’s depression is about you. It’s never about you.
8. Never play the “bad cop” role.
Negative reinforcement doesn’t work with people who are dealing
with depression. You can’t afford to give them tough love. They will only
shrink further because of the pressure. They are delicate enough as it is. You
have to practice maximum patience and compassion when dealing with people who
are battling depression.
9. They like to be asked how they’re feeling even when they act
reluctant to share.
Even though people with depression might seem like the ones who
don’t want to talk about their feelings, they know that conversations about
their emotions can be very helpful. That’s why it’s important for you to always
establish open lines of communication with your partner. Let your partner know
that you are always available for a talk whenever needed.
10. People with depression are not weak.
In fact, people who are forced to deal with depression might be
some of the strongest people you will ever get to meet. Plenty of people
succumb to the pressures of this mental disease. That’s why you have to be
proud of the days your partner chooses to fight and conquer life in spite of
this mental illness. Depression has crippled so many people and it takes a
person of incredible strength to withstand the pressures of a life with
depression.
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